santa banta jokes

SARDARJI JOKES
1.Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife these days because somebody hadtold him that it is wrong to sleep with married women.
2.A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper. Once he wastraveling to Bombay to deliver a speech about railway departmentimprovements. His coach was the last coach in the train. The train wasmoving very fast and so sardarji’s coach was jerking heavily. This madehim not to prepare for the speech. Annoyed by the event, next day in themeeting, his first point towards improvement of railway department was“There should not be last coach in any train.”
3.A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes towash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comesrunning and asks him, “Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?” To this the manreplies,”Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, “Wash Basin”.
4.Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying likeanything. So the other asked, “Why are you crying?” The first onereplied, “I came here for blood test” Second one asked, “So? Are youafraid?” First one replied, “No, not that. During the blood test theycut my finger” Hearing this the second one started crying. The first onewas astonished and asked other, “Why are you crying?” The other replied,“I have come for my urine test.”
5.Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptlyfilled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then the column SEX.He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought hewrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this in his application form, he was toldthat it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALEor FEMALE. Again our sardar thought for a long time before coming upwith the answer: PREFERABLY FEMALES.
6.Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at an MNC office inAmritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and bothapplicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test bythe Department manager. Upon completion of the test, the results showedthat both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went toSanta and said, “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to givethe job to Reddy”. Santa: “And why would you be doing that? We both got9 questions correct. This being Punjab I should get the job!” Manager:“We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the onequestion that you got wrong.” Santa: “And just how would one incorrectanswer be better than the other?” Manager: “Simple, for the questionthat both of you got wrong, Reddy put down ‘I don’t know’ as the answer.And you wrote ‘Neither do I’!”
7.Sardarji praising his son who is a Civil engineer, who just laid a roadnear his house. “Wow! This is terrific! Look at the job he has done! Thedistance from my house to the railway station is the same as the railwaystation to my house!!!!!!!!”
8.A sardarji once took an answering machine home in Punjab anddisconnected it within a couple of days because he was gettingcomplaints from his relatives like “Saala phone utha ke bolta hai kighar pe nahin hai”
9.One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenlydeviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then cameback on the tracks.The passengers were horrified.On the next Railway station, the driver was caught He was found to be aSardar. When he was questioned. He explained that there was a manstanding on the track and he was not moving from there even after lotsof honks etc.Then authorities questioned :Sardarji are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of somany passengers under danger. You should have run over that person.Sardar said : Exactly,that is what I also decided, but this idiotstarted running towards the field when the train came very close!
10.Santa Singh and Banta Singh were discussing how they would like to die.Santa said, “When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfatherdid,in his sleep. I dont want to die screaming like some of hisfriends,who also died at the same time.”Banta asked, “How did his friends die screaming while your grandfatherdied sleeping peacefully?”Santa Singh replied, “His friends were the passengers in the car he wasdriving.”
11.Hamare apne zail ji….Zail Singh was preparing for his MBA exams.He could understand everything except for the LOGIC part.One day when he was reading Rajiv came home.RAJIV: Zail singhji, How is your MBA preparation?Zail Singh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.RAJIV: Logic is very easy.Zailsingh: Can you give me an example,so that I can understand.RAJIV: OK,Do you have fish pot in your house?Zail : YES.RAJIV: Logically, there will be water in it.Zail : YES.RAJIV: Logically, there will be fish in it.Zail : YES.RAJIV: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.Zail: YES.RAJIV: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.Zail : YES.RAJIV: so, Logically, you are married.Zail: YES.RAJIV : SO, logically you are not homo sexual.Zailsingh was very glad that he understood logic. Next day he sees ButaSingh who was also preparing for MBA.Zail: How is your MBA preparation?BUTA : Everything is fine except for the logic.Zail : oh, logic is easy Rajiv explained me yesterday.BUTA : Please give me an example ...Zail : Do you have a fish pot in your house?BUTA : NO, I dont.Zail : Then your are homo sexual!

HOPE U HAVE A HEARTY LAUGH!!!!!!!